Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Mama Bear

This might sting a bit.  I am generally never at a loss for words, yet I have been struggling to articulate this experience and these emotions in to words....I am going to preface this post saying that it is not intended to finger point or call anyone out.  It is me, being honest.

I am a SENSITIVE person.  Not news to anyone.  Although I don't often show my emotions (I am dutch and therefore cannot show tears or weakness) over the past year I have become more "in tune" with my emotions...and at times, may not have controlled them as well as I should have.

I am a REACTOR.  I am trying hard to not be such a quick responder, but rather process and think of more appropriate responses.

I am a FIERCE protector of ALL my children (thus the title of Mama Bear)

I think given these three facts about me, is why I have a hard time with people that don't treat Sadie like....maybe like I expect them too?  I almost find myself saying that I get frustrated that people don't treat Sadie like a "normal" child...but I know that isn't right.

So, I obviously know that Sadie is not "normal".   And I also know that, sadly, many people are just not comfortable around those with special needs.  I quite often leave many places feeling frustrated/sad at the lack of acknowledgement/attention given to Sadie.  The reality of Sadie is that she cannot invest time in you...you have to invest time in her.  And let me be the one to tell you...she knows.  She knows when people are comfortable and when they are not.  She knows the difference between someone who has spent time with her before and a stranger.  She also remembers.

So, I have been trying to step back and really figure out what is bugging me about this.  I think it is the FIERCE PROTECTOR in me, that I want ALL my children to be loved on and treated EQUALLY.  It is the REACTOR in me that wants to jump all over why someone wouldn't want to be involved with Sadie.  And it's the SENSITIVE part of me that just wants everyone to experience the amazing Blessing of giving their love to Sadie.

Reality is;  Sadie will never be "normal" and each and every day I am more and more thankful for that.  Sadie; our fighter, our miracle, our teacher, our life changer....she is happy just by being loved.  We should ALL be that simple!  Just being happy being loved.

So, instead of reading into and trying to figure out why on earth someone wouldn't want to hold Sadie, talk to her, or just be invested in her...I am going to pray for that person.  For it isn't Sadie that is missing out on the attention...as she gets PLENTY.  It is really the people that are scared of something new/different that are really missing out on something big...something special...Sadie.

My prayer is also that if anyone reads this and feels that this is geared towards them, to know, it really isn't.  I have not thought of one specific person that this applies too, only that it is something that regularly occurs. 

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